We'll Be a Dream

This blog will more than likely be short and sweet - I am feeling thoughtful and decided to write about it. Surprise, surprise. I have been thinking these past couple of days about how fragile life is. It is a cliche saying and although I strongly disapprove of cliche sayings, this one happens to be very true at this particular time. I have had to say goodbye to a lot of very close people in my life over the past two weeks and as morbid as it may seem, I have to wonder is this the last time I will see them. It very well could be. After all, in Matthew 6, it tells us not to worry about tomorrow for today has enough trouble of it's own. What I have learned from that and what I have learned from all my goodbyes? I've learned that when you love someone or care about them, tell them and make it known. Make it completely clear so they have no doubt in their mind. And when you miss someone, do the same. Sure, it might feel a little awkward or put you in a vulnerable position, but life is about not being comfortable. If you're comfortable with the way things are going, somethings wrong. Always stretch yourself. Always act as if it is your last day. This blog is almost too cliche for words, and for that I am sorry. But it is something that has been on my heart so I encourage those few of you to do the same.

I wish I could take credit for the picture; however, it is not my own. It is from the website beautyineverything.com, a website from which I get most of my inspiration from. Thus concludes my mini schpeel. God has been supernatural in my life this summer and I hope you are experiencing Him in the same way I am because, it's amazing. And my brother is in town for his 21 birthday with week. That is completely bogus. Alright, this blog is becoming a monotonous ramble. Love love.

Don't Let Your Hula Hit the Flo'

Seeing that it is now Saturday night and I still have not talked about Getaway, this blog is long overdue. However, I must say I have been very busy since my return. I unpacked and repacked the same bag the next day I got back because I had to catch a plane on Sunday to Pittsburgh, PA. Many of you may be wondering why Pittsburgh, it's not exactly the first place that comes to my mind when I think of "summer vacation"; however, I am interning with Silver Ring Thing for the week and their headquarters is here in Pitt. For those of you that don't know what Silver Ring Thing is, check it out (www.silverringthing.com) it's pretty much the bomb.com. Now, onto the purpose of this blog.

Getaway this year came and went before I could blink. For those of you that don't know, Getaway is a Student Venture retreat at Myrtle Beach, SC. It is always such an incredible experience; Tenth Avenue North is always the band and the speakers are always inspiring. This year brought many surprises and things I had no anticipated. Little did I know I was going to have strep throat for two days - starting on Monday night. It included a trip to the Minute Clinic - and it was there that the sweetest nurse helped me and I owe my speedy recovery largely to her. I must admit, I was extremely frustrated and discouraged because I wanted to have an encounter with God and experience Him like I do every year at Getaway and I felt as if I could not do that. However, God spoke to me in the most mysterious ways that exceeded my expectations that I would not have known had I been well. On the last night, the room was filled with the ecstatic cries of 600 students repeating "He loves me, Oh how He loves me". The reflection of the guitar was the only light that crept through my closed eyes. And when I opened them, nearly every hand was raised; it was such a beautiful moment, one that I will not forget for a very long time. I was also able to learn about the hearts of some of my best friends, who have incredible stories which I did not know before the retreat. I was so overwhelmed with God's love and His incredible power to change anyone. The fact my friend wants to use her past failures to impact others in the future is so encouraging to me. If only I had that kind of faith.

In addition to the wonderful fellowship I had with God, I also had an incredible time with my roommates: Megan Stahl, Makena Cummings, and Jaclyn Gerardot. On the last night, we got ready and had an hour to spare so we went "exploring". I came up with the idea that we should simply ride the elevators with our 5 pound bag of Sour Patch Kids and see where it took us. In the process we not only finished off the entire bag, but also made many new friends. We also discovered that elevators can get very hot when there are a lot of people in them...common sense, wouldn't you think?

God also showed me a verse from Isaiah 6:7-8: "Look. This coal has touches your lips. Gone your guilt, your sins wiped out. And then I heard the voice of the Master; 'Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?' I spoke up, 'I'll go. Send me'!" I could not have asked for a more clear sign, I am willing to go where ever God calls, but the question is where is that? I hope to find out more pieces to the puzzle of my life as the summer progresses.

Kimbo and Co.

Today was inspirational with a hint of trauma. I was able to go to Cafe Helios, a very fun cafe in downtown Raleigh - I highly recommend it, with my AP Composition teacher whom I greatly admire. We talked for almost 2 hours about a lot, but specifically God and His undying love and I was so overwhelmed, it was such an encouraging time. I was able to tell her, briefly, my testimony and I got so excited. I also realized that it was a 2 years ago yesterday. Therefore, 2 years ago yesterday, I was made whole. If only words could describe how surreal that is. Knowing that my God sees me, sees my sin and how filthy I am, but has washed me completely clean. He sees not my imperfections and how many times I fail him time and time again. It is honestly completely overwhelming when I really stop and think about it, which is what I have done. God has all rights to look at me with disgust and disappointment and anger as to what I have done in my past and what I do every day and how many times I fail him, but He doesn't. He instead loves me so unconditionally in so many ways. I am truly awestruck. If only I had that kind of love. To love someone who has hurt me, disappointed me, and wronged me - to see beyond that and love them with the kind of love God does. It brings tears to my eyes to realize what a great sinner I am and how indescribably great God is.

I am also overcome with joy because my best friend, whom I have been separated from since last August, is coming home on Saturday at 4:25PM from Germany. She is such an amazing person: her faith, her beauty both inside and out, I could go on forever. I am eternally grateful for her for dragging me to Getaway 2 years ago because it was there I found God for the first time. There is really no telling where I would be without her. She is one of the wisest people I know and I am so proud to call her my best friend. I will probably not get one wink of sleep on Friday night because of her homecoming; which is unfortunate considering I have to take the ACT on Saturday morning.

The trauma in my day? My teacher placed in my care her 4 class fish, or as she calls them "Kimbo and CO". Kimbo is without a doubt one of the strangest fish I have ever laid my eyes on and his eyes are going to pop out at any second, I am convinced. For those of you that know Kimbo, you know what I'm talking about. I plan on renaming the other 3 fish, which are goldfish. If you have any ideas, let me know. I am thoroughly excited, however, because I have 4 new roomies for the summer. I sense a little jealousy in my beta, Swiney. Swiney is short for Swiney Todd because I got him for my 17th birthday and I had Swine Flu (aka The PIG) on my birthday. 'Twas quite fun... Anyways, trauma. I got the fish and put them in their new home and after a few minutes after I thought all was well and there was peace in the tank, I heard a banging noise. I look over only to find one of the fish backed up against one corner then swimming at full speed only to be stopped by the other side of the tank. The fish did this over time and time again, which thoroughly traumatized me. I'm not sure how they're adapting to their new environment.

Also, check out Peter Bradley Adams, he's pretty great. Specifically Los Angles and Little Stranger. Pandora always has the greatest selections. Thanks Pandora.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

I absolutely love those verses. It's a great reminder to remember when living the Christian faith. As Christians, we are told to leave our old self behind, and fix our eyes on Jesus. I think it's so beautiful.

I'm not sure when I will blog next. I will be at the Getaway retreat this Sunday through Friday. It is where I got saved and am therefore extremely excited. I'm sure I will have lots to blog about when I get back. Until next time...

The Imperfect Conch

It is not 2:34AM and I wish I knew where to begin; however, I do not. Again, I am a whirlpool of emotion and quite honestly don't know what I'm going to do with myself for the next year. There are many things which I have learned this week: my wrist which carried my bracelets on them over the past year needs SPF 50. I only partially knew that and unfortunately that has resulted in a terribly splotchy wrist, half pale, half fried. That leads to immense pain, for your information.

Something else I have learned this week: shark island is in fact not inhabited by sharks, but instead by shells. If only words could describe the uniqueness and beauty of it. It is completely flat land in the middle of the ocean blanketed with shells of all kinds, and sporadic pools of water throughout. All of it was absolutely breathtaking. And as I walked around the island, I noticed numerous conch shells, the ones you would think to only find in stores; most were partially buried in the sand. And as I picked up what I thought was a perfectly, non-broken conch, I only found it to have a hole on the other side, or a missing piece. And though it looked beautiful and perfect and matchless from a glance, looking closer only brought out the imperfections. So I went on looking for the 'perfect conch'. Tonight, I have reflected on my conch searching only to find I am searching for the perfect conch in multiple degrees. In many ways the 'perfect conch' is much like my future husband. I was looking for the conch that looked the best or 'felt' the smoothest, but when I took a good look, there were imperfections. Sometimes, when looking, I thought for sure the one in the midst of all the other shells would be the perfect one and I stepped across the painfully sharp shells in hopes to find the perfect conch, but in reality, it was just like the rest of the broken ones. I then knew, but it took pain to get to that conclusion. But like I found my perfect conch, I also have great faith that I will find my husband one day. I know that he's out there, I just haven't found him yet.

The beach this week produced many countless moments which I will never forget. I often found myself texting a friend telling them how much I wished they were there to share the moment with me. There seemed to be beauty in everything: the light patter of the rain, the dark bliss where all there is is you and the sound of the ocean. The adrenaline when you saw the silhouette of the crab scurry in front of you just before you stepped on it.

I decided to read Jeremiah this summer for my quiet time because of Jeremiah 29:11 that talks about how the Lord knows the plans for us to prosper. This summer, and throughout this next school year, I know that God is teaching me to trust him. I am prayerfully considering many things for my years after high school and have no idea what I am going to do. It baffles me to think I will know everything a year from now; however, in the mean time, it is extremely stressful. I do not know what this means but the first day I started reading the book, I realized God wants me to speak. I don't know what he wants me to speak about or who he wants me to speak to, but he gave me this verse.

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. Jeremiah 1:7-9

I am learning to trust God over this next year, which will be a challenge for me. But I am choosing to trust.